Let's Talk About Self-Care — What Do YOU Actually Need?

Mother's Day is almost here, and with it comes the annual flood of spa packages, brunch reservations, and well-meaning cards that say things like "You deserve a break!"

And you do. Whether you're a mother, father, caregiver, teacher, or other human who cares for smaller humans, you really, genuinely do. (So do I!) Because let's be real.

This is motherhood....

But so is this!

Here's the thing: a pedicure probably won't fix what's actually depleted. And if you're anything like the parents and caregivers I work with — the ones who are so attuned to everyone else's needs that they've lost the signal on their own — you might not even know what you actually need anymore.

That's where real self-care starts.

Self-Care Is Reconnaissance, Not Reward

We've been sold a version of self-care that looks like a reward for surviving — a candle, the good dark chocolate, a girls' trip. And while those things are genuinely wonderful (I am not here to take away your pedicure), they're treats. They're not a practice.

Real self-care is paying attention. It's learning to notice what's happening in your body before you hit the wall.

Ask yourself:

• When did I last feel genuinely rested — not just less tired?

• Am I eating in ways that make me feel good, or just eating to function?

• What does my skin feel like right now — not how it looks, but how it feels?

• When did I last spend five minutes doing something for no reason except that I wanted to?

You don't have to answer all of these at once. But picking one and sitting with it for a week? That's a self-care practice.

The Skin You're In (And Why It Matters)

One area that often gets overlooked — especially for parents who are always doing — is basic skin health. Not in a vain, Instagram-filter way. In a this is the largest organ in your body way.

I asked my friend Shornrapar Lobberecht, a licensed esthetician and someone I genuinely trust on this stuff, to share some thoughts. Here's what she had to say:

"Daily sun protection is one of the simplest ways to reduce risk of skin cancer."

Think of SPF as your essential daily step in your morning routine! Daily sunscreen use is the

best way to: 

• Prevent premature wrinkles and fine lines. 

• Reduce the risk of sunspots and hyperpigmentation. 

• Support overall skin health and brightness.

One thing she emphasized that stuck with me: sun protection is self-care. Not just for aesthetics, but for long-term health. It's one of the most concrete, daily things you can do for your body that also happens to feel like you're taking yourself seriously. (Looking for more specifics? I've included her info below!)

The Myth of the One-Hour Meditation

Can we talk about the guilt around "not meditating"? Because I think a lot of people have mentally filed self-care under "things I'd do if I had more time," and that's exactly how it never happens.

Here's a reframe: mindfulness doesn't require an hour on a cushion with a singing bowl. (Although that is also lovely!)

I use mindful sips — tiny moments you can take throughout the day where you bring your full attention to one small thing. Not to fix it. Not to analyze it. Just to notice it.

Some examples:

• The first sip of your morning coffee or tea. Put your phone down. Feel the warmth. That's it.

• The moment you get in the car before anyone else does. Thirty seconds of quiet before you turn the key.

• Washing your hands. Notice the temperature of the water. The soap. The act of caring for yourself.

• Stepping outside. Even for sixty seconds. Feel the air. Look up.

These aren't substitutes for real rest. But they add up. They keep you tethered to yourself throughout the day instead of arriving at bedtime feeling like a stranger in your own body.

What This Mother's Day (Or Any Day Ending In "y") Could Look Like

Instead of waiting for a grand gesture, here's an invitation:

This week, pick one thing from these categories, and make a plan.

🌿 Body: Go for that walk. Drink one more glass of water than you usually do. Stretch for two minutes before bed.

🍽 Nourishment: Eat one meal this week sitting down, without a screen. Notice what you're eating and how it makes you feel afterward.

🫧 Mind: Try one mindful sip tomorrow morning. Just one.

☀️ Skin: Take a look at what you're actually putting on your face. Consider whether it's working for you — and if you're not sure, Shornrapar is a great resource. For example, I had no idea what kind of sunscreen I should use. Her advice? Consider mineral sunscreens. Mineral SPF (zinc oxide + titanium dioxide) serves as a physical barrier, reflecting and scattering UV rays before they penetrate the skin, like a mirror. Her top picks? EstiGlo® Tinted Replenishing SPF 40 Moisture Mineral Sunscreen and EstiGlo® Non-Tinted Zinc Body & Face Mineral Sunscreen SPF 40.

(And if you've been looking for a sign to actually start a skincare routine, or to upgrade the one you have — this is it. Along with her words of wisdom, she's generously sharing a discount code for my readers! Enter KRIS50 for free shipping on any order over $50. You can find her at estiglobeauty.com. Full disclosure: I receive a small commission on purchases made through my link, at no extra cost to you.)

You don't have to earn rest. You don't have to deserve care. You just have to start.

Happy Mother's Day — to you, and to the version of you who's learning to pay attention.

Warmly, Kris

P.S. Want to go deeper on taking care of yourself so you can keep showing up for your family? That's one of many things we work on together. Apply for a free consultation here.